Welcome to Coffee News!

You know you drink too much coffee when ...

  • Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
  • you ski uphill.
  • you speed walk in your sleep.
  • you answer the door before people knock.
  • you sleep with your eyes open.
  • you just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.
  • you grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
  • you have to watch videos in fast-forward.
  • the only time you're standing still is in an earthquake.
  • you lick your coffeepot clean.
  • your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
  • the nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
  • your T-shirt says, "Decaf is the devil's coffee."
  • you can type sixty words a minute with your feet.
  • all your kids are named "Joe."
  • you don't need a hammer to pound nails.
  • your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet and Low."
  • you don't sweat, you percolate.
  • you've worn out the handles on your favorite mug.
  • you've built a miniature city out of plastic stirrers.
  • people get dizzy just watching you.
  • people can test their batteries in your ears.
  • when someone asks you," How are you?", you say," Good to the last drop."
  • your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
  • you'd be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison.
  • you go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
  • you speak perfect Arabic without even taking a lesson.
  • your Thermos is on wheels.
  • you can outlast the Energizer Bunny.
  • you don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
  • you think being called a drip is a compliment.
  • you don't tan, you roast.
  • you don't get mad, you get steamed.
  • you soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
  • your coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London.
  • you think CPR stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation."

Coffee News
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Leominster, MA 01453
Phone: 978-549-8948